Is It Just Me, Or Was This The Longest Week Ever ?
THE GREAT RACE (FOR JAI'S SPACE)
Two weeks ago, Jai's mischievous coworkers started arriving extra early in the morning to snag his parking spot, which technically isn't assigned to anybody in particular but has been occupied by Jai's beloved Saturn for years. Auntie, an elderly Filipina who's new to our campus and clueless about parking lot etiquette, had taken Jai's spot on the first day without any particular animosity towards him, then Scary Loo confessed that she and her nameless accomplices couldn't resist the chance to continually bag the only sap-free parking space for themselves, just to see what Jai would do.
Jai initially disregarded these shenanigans with his usual stoicism, but his mood eventually degenerated into outright rudeness towards everyone, even innocent bystanders like Joan The OT Pod. I predict that by the end of the school year, Jai will be doing time for manslaughter, which makes me nervous because I take the bus to work and will arrive after his killing spree is already under way.
YET ANOTHER REASON I'M A SECULAR HUMANIST:
Lez's daughter had a cranial scan a while back, and it turns out she's the proud owner of several brain lesions. The doctor confided to Liz that he'd just seen a new study linking similar lesions to ADD, which Lez spent her childhood taking Ritalin for. That explains her daughter's erratic behavior in school- unless you're Lez's Theology teacher, that is. He wasted no time debunking the study as secular claptrap and told Lez that her daughter's funky brain and Lez's ADD were "the result of sin".
If I remember my theology correctly, 4 year-olds with damaged brains are the result of Original Sin- that's when one chick eating an apple caused the rest of mankind to suffer unlimited sickness, death, and interpersonal stupidity. Personal sin is not the issue with most illnesses, a distinction Lez's teacher apparently didn't make clear to her.
While Lez sobbed on Sparkle's shoulder during most of bus room, I fumed over my inability to unleash instant karma on her instructor. If I was running this planet, "intelligent design" would mean using your brain to question spurious teaching like the kind being shucked out at a certain Christian college. But what do I expect from a school that boasts on their website that they offer classes for "Men Disciplining Men" ? Hope someone finally caught that typo, although it sounds much more interesting the way it's currently posted.
Although I'm not normally disposed to be sympathetic when a fundamentalist hangs herself with her own dogmatic rope, I couldn't help but feel some righteous indignation on Lez's behalf. I also felt the desire to slap some sense into her for taking religion seriously in the first place, but trying to deprogram someone against their will is an exhausting process best left to professionals. It's moments like this when I thank the God I don't believe in that I'm often able to smell religious horseshit from a mile away, and wasn't inclined to shovel a whole lot of it before I left the flock. To thine own jaded self be true.
LITTLE BITTY BITS:
* After gibbering incoherently to herself in the corner for 5 minutes, Jeanny turned to Zakkia and dramatically proclaimed, "You don't understand !"
* Mace's evil aide- Jillanne- beat Nike with a sandal. Nike arrived in our classroom hysterically sobbing, just 30 minutes after I had warned Mace that his Neanderaide- Venison- had better not ever call a certain student a "piece of shit" again within my hearing (this occurred on the kid's birthday). Doesn't it make you feel great to know that your tax dollars pay their salaries ?
* Triple-A rocked out to a Journey song playing in the room next door, converting the lyrics of "Send Her My Love" to "Andy And-eeeee !". In honor of AAA's chewie that looks like a demented sex toy, I rewrote the song as "Send Her My Menga". Menga is so named because "menga" is the only other word we've ever heard AAA say.
Hope you enjoy your Sunday, you mothers !
Two weeks ago, Jai's mischievous coworkers started arriving extra early in the morning to snag his parking spot, which technically isn't assigned to anybody in particular but has been occupied by Jai's beloved Saturn for years. Auntie, an elderly Filipina who's new to our campus and clueless about parking lot etiquette, had taken Jai's spot on the first day without any particular animosity towards him, then Scary Loo confessed that she and her nameless accomplices couldn't resist the chance to continually bag the only sap-free parking space for themselves, just to see what Jai would do.
Jai initially disregarded these shenanigans with his usual stoicism, but his mood eventually degenerated into outright rudeness towards everyone, even innocent bystanders like Joan The OT Pod. I predict that by the end of the school year, Jai will be doing time for manslaughter, which makes me nervous because I take the bus to work and will arrive after his killing spree is already under way.
YET ANOTHER REASON I'M A SECULAR HUMANIST:
Lez's daughter had a cranial scan a while back, and it turns out she's the proud owner of several brain lesions. The doctor confided to Liz that he'd just seen a new study linking similar lesions to ADD, which Lez spent her childhood taking Ritalin for. That explains her daughter's erratic behavior in school- unless you're Lez's Theology teacher, that is. He wasted no time debunking the study as secular claptrap and told Lez that her daughter's funky brain and Lez's ADD were "the result of sin".
If I remember my theology correctly, 4 year-olds with damaged brains are the result of Original Sin- that's when one chick eating an apple caused the rest of mankind to suffer unlimited sickness, death, and interpersonal stupidity. Personal sin is not the issue with most illnesses, a distinction Lez's teacher apparently didn't make clear to her.
While Lez sobbed on Sparkle's shoulder during most of bus room, I fumed over my inability to unleash instant karma on her instructor. If I was running this planet, "intelligent design" would mean using your brain to question spurious teaching like the kind being shucked out at a certain Christian college. But what do I expect from a school that boasts on their website that they offer classes for "Men Disciplining Men" ? Hope someone finally caught that typo, although it sounds much more interesting the way it's currently posted.
Although I'm not normally disposed to be sympathetic when a fundamentalist hangs herself with her own dogmatic rope, I couldn't help but feel some righteous indignation on Lez's behalf. I also felt the desire to slap some sense into her for taking religion seriously in the first place, but trying to deprogram someone against their will is an exhausting process best left to professionals. It's moments like this when I thank the God I don't believe in that I'm often able to smell religious horseshit from a mile away, and wasn't inclined to shovel a whole lot of it before I left the flock. To thine own jaded self be true.
LITTLE BITTY BITS:
* After gibbering incoherently to herself in the corner for 5 minutes, Jeanny turned to Zakkia and dramatically proclaimed, "You don't understand !"
* Mace's evil aide- Jillanne- beat Nike with a sandal. Nike arrived in our classroom hysterically sobbing, just 30 minutes after I had warned Mace that his Neanderaide- Venison- had better not ever call a certain student a "piece of shit" again within my hearing (this occurred on the kid's birthday). Doesn't it make you feel great to know that your tax dollars pay their salaries ?
* Triple-A rocked out to a Journey song playing in the room next door, converting the lyrics of "Send Her My Love" to "Andy And-eeeee !". In honor of AAA's chewie that looks like a demented sex toy, I rewrote the song as "Send Her My Menga". Menga is so named because "menga" is the only other word we've ever heard AAA say.
Hope you enjoy your Sunday, you mothers !
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 8:12 PM
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