Happy Happy Joy Joy

Sometimes, people make comments regarding how they think my posts are too negative. Interestingly, not one of those comments came from someone who actually works in special ed. or has a special-needs child. It's a different ballgame working here "in the field" or being trapped at home with a stimming autisitic child and the same Barney video all damn day, and I know my caustic style isn't everyone's cup o'tea, but I do try to write with tongue planted firmly in scowling cheek and really don't hate my life as much as some of you literal types seem to think.

I've lived through some nasty shit. Those things could have killed me or broke me down, but I'm still holding a job and not strung out on anything, which is more than I can say about some of my less-fortunate companions on the Road Of Life. I'm not a Nice Girl. I'm not pretending I have all my shit together or that I'm a good person. I'm definately not interested in limiting my posts to only safe and comfortable thoughts. You don't have to like that about me and you don't have to be subjected to it if you don't want to be, so go read some other blog if mine's not shiny and happy enough for you.

It's tempting to control life so only "positive" (ie: non-threatening) feelings are allowed, but I'd rather not repress the "negative" and end up with an ulcer. Besides, policing other people's thoughts and feelings and demanding that they only express "positivity" seems like a form of emotional fascism to me. There is a mature way to express difficult things and we all need to aim for that, rather than passive-aggressing at/dumping all over/draining the hell out of each other- I totally get that. But there are people who project their own issues onto others and then villianize them for it.

I'm talking about people who are so afraid to live with mistakes and regrets that they never take any risks, never allow Life to touch them, who shield themselves from pain in a way that chokes off any genuine compassion for others. Life's ugly sometimes, but I hope to make that aspect of it so bizarre that you'll laugh instead of cry. My apologies for the times I've failed, and many thanks for the times you've replied with support and gallows humor of your own.