The End Of The School Year- So Near, And Yet So Far...
The usual song and dance...
How LoB annoyed Jai and me this week:
- displayed a stunning lack of depth, as usual
- invalidated everything I said with lame platitudes
- didn't buy cleaning supplies I requested (so I could remove the eye-watering scorched plastic residue that Lez left in our microwave), then sulked when I announced I wasn't going to bring my own cleanser to school anymore, nor would I continue to clean up after the other 4 adults who sit on their asses all day discussing movie trivia.
- played Disney movies during instructional time, causing Jai's blood pressure to spike in response to G having a moment of joy
- refused to give AAA a piece of Moonbeam's birthday cake because he didn't want to help AAA hold his spoon, so AAA had to watch us all eat yummies until I finally took mercy on him and fed him.
What Jai asked G after watching him drool for 2 hours:
- "Do you have a water tank inside ? Impossible- it's all day long !"
What made G especially happy today:
- mud on his fingers
- yogurt smeared on his desk
- Moonbeam's birthday cake
- the plastic fish in our BINGO box
Why the mallard keeps attacking us:
- he's protecting the goose's nest
- he wants to hump Angelo's leg, despite Angelo's obvious discomfort
- he hates Scuzie's shoelaces for some reason
- he's psycho
Who threw what during the appalling Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat performance:
- Scabby The Terrible: threw Gatorade at the camera and it splattered everywhere
- G: threw a big-ass roll of butcher paper that was propped against the wall, then attempted to throw the soccer net and a bench at me because I removed him from the auditorium
- Scuzie: threw a fit when G grabbed her technicolor turban as she was ducking away from the flying Gatorade bottle
- Twinkle: threw his turban into the audience and AWOLed from the stage in the middle of the grand finale
Things you'd rather not be presented with at work:
- dead bird (handed to Loretta by a student, in a shoebox with a blue napkin over it)
- challenges (Jai lost his parking space and his temper- again)
- slobbery yogurt container (G didn't have a dead bird to give me instead)
Overheard:
- "She looks fairly innocent." (LoB's comment on the bellydancer- LoB also regularly evaluates the attractiveness of our female students, which I find creepy)
- "I remember the first time that happened to me. I was wonderin' why she had such a big Adam's apple." (The Irritable Texan's story about a transvestite he thought was a chick and asked out)
- "The first time ? Why, was there another time ?" (my smartass comment to TIT after hearing the preceding statement)
- "I've been picked up a lot of times. Last week, a Prime Time shuttle was driving by and both of the guys in it were both trying to pick me up !" (Lawdie, still repressing and projecting his homoerotic urges)
- "Don't you mean that guys TRY to pick up on you, or are you admitting that they succeed ?" (Shoe, who never resists a chance to needle Lawdie)
What's annoying me so far this week:
- physical contact
- any conversation involving more than 3 sentences
- smarminess
- that burnt plastic smell everytime Jay runs the microwave
- new online billing that requires the latest version of Excel
- Hippie Volunteer claiming Santana's music is awful, and then subjecting us to his crappy rendition of "You Got A Friend"
- Chloe slamming the bedroom door all the time
- the internet constantly freezing up
- I missed the Highland Fling because Sue wanted to watch the drum majors instead
- our pilot light not clearly stating which direction I should twist the knob in
- having to capitalize "I"
What makes life worth living:
- Shannon's boyfriend hasn't turned out to be a serial killer (yet)
- my "plaid to the bone" sweatshirt from the Highland Games
- Mojo Nixon and the Toad Liquors
- knowing that Biker Dude is making chocolate-chip cookies tomorrow
- Raiiven telling a story
- Mark asking to use some of my photos for the school yearbook
- funny texts from Tammy the S&M Stylist and Tivo
- The end of a long post...
How LoB annoyed Jai and me this week:
- displayed a stunning lack of depth, as usual
- invalidated everything I said with lame platitudes
- didn't buy cleaning supplies I requested (so I could remove the eye-watering scorched plastic residue that Lez left in our microwave), then sulked when I announced I wasn't going to bring my own cleanser to school anymore, nor would I continue to clean up after the other 4 adults who sit on their asses all day discussing movie trivia.
- played Disney movies during instructional time, causing Jai's blood pressure to spike in response to G having a moment of joy
- refused to give AAA a piece of Moonbeam's birthday cake because he didn't want to help AAA hold his spoon, so AAA had to watch us all eat yummies until I finally took mercy on him and fed him.
What Jai asked G after watching him drool for 2 hours:
- "Do you have a water tank inside ? Impossible- it's all day long !"
What made G especially happy today:
- mud on his fingers
- yogurt smeared on his desk
- Moonbeam's birthday cake
- the plastic fish in our BINGO box
Why the mallard keeps attacking us:
- he's protecting the goose's nest
- he wants to hump Angelo's leg, despite Angelo's obvious discomfort
- he hates Scuzie's shoelaces for some reason
- he's psycho
Who threw what during the appalling Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat performance:
- Scabby The Terrible: threw Gatorade at the camera and it splattered everywhere
- G: threw a big-ass roll of butcher paper that was propped against the wall, then attempted to throw the soccer net and a bench at me because I removed him from the auditorium
- Scuzie: threw a fit when G grabbed her technicolor turban as she was ducking away from the flying Gatorade bottle
- Twinkle: threw his turban into the audience and AWOLed from the stage in the middle of the grand finale
Things you'd rather not be presented with at work:
- dead bird (handed to Loretta by a student, in a shoebox with a blue napkin over it)
- challenges (Jai lost his parking space and his temper- again)
- slobbery yogurt container (G didn't have a dead bird to give me instead)
Overheard:
- "She looks fairly innocent." (LoB's comment on the bellydancer- LoB also regularly evaluates the attractiveness of our female students, which I find creepy)
- "I remember the first time that happened to me. I was wonderin' why she had such a big Adam's apple." (The Irritable Texan's story about a transvestite he thought was a chick and asked out)
- "The first time ? Why, was there another time ?" (my smartass comment to TIT after hearing the preceding statement)
- "I've been picked up a lot of times. Last week, a Prime Time shuttle was driving by and both of the guys in it were both trying to pick me up !" (Lawdie, still repressing and projecting his homoerotic urges)
- "Don't you mean that guys TRY to pick up on you, or are you admitting that they succeed ?" (Shoe, who never resists a chance to needle Lawdie)
What's annoying me so far this week:
- physical contact
- any conversation involving more than 3 sentences
- smarminess
- that burnt plastic smell everytime Jay runs the microwave
- new online billing that requires the latest version of Excel
- Hippie Volunteer claiming Santana's music is awful, and then subjecting us to his crappy rendition of "You Got A Friend"
- Chloe slamming the bedroom door all the time
- the internet constantly freezing up
- I missed the Highland Fling because Sue wanted to watch the drum majors instead
- our pilot light not clearly stating which direction I should twist the knob in
- having to capitalize "I"
What makes life worth living:
- Shannon's boyfriend hasn't turned out to be a serial killer (yet)
- my "plaid to the bone" sweatshirt from the Highland Games
- Mojo Nixon and the Toad Liquors
- knowing that Biker Dude is making chocolate-chip cookies tomorrow
- Raiiven telling a story
- Mark asking to use some of my photos for the school yearbook
- funny texts from Tammy the S&M Stylist and Tivo
- The end of a long post...
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 5:37 PM
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