Days Of Whine And Roses
Maybe I should have said whine and runny noses...
GEORGIA ON HER MIND
Shoe wants to move to Georgia and be with her daughter. Shoe's daughter wants Shoe to stay away, but doesn't have the guts to tell her so. This leads to much eye-rolling when Shoe makes her weekly request that everyone tell God how to do his job (pray) so she'll sell her house and be allowed to continue stalking her child (prey), which must really put God on the spot when prayers come in from Georgia requesting the opposite.
During PE class, Shoe oozed over and asked me to pray for her, and was astonished when I politely declined to do so. This was especially amusing to me because I was wearing pentagram earrings and had just made 2 Marilyn Manson references during roll call, but Shoe is the ecumenical sort and any press is good press as far as she's concerned. I briefly toyed with the idea of bartering a prayer for one of her severed fingers, but my satanic duties are mostly ceremonial these days and Francesca would probably steal it from me to pick her nose with. I was suddenly stricken by a rare feeling of kindness and redirected Shoe to Lawdy, then chased Lucifer away from his latest victim while The Irritable Texan screamed at Lawdy and Shoe because they weren't watching the kids.
THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE !
Mistress Sparkle Moonbeam puts a lot of enthusiasm into singing our cutesy morning songs, which goes largely unappreciated by Eureeka, because she stays up all night watching TV. On Monday, Eureeka endured a few minutes of Triple A screeching along with Moonbeam to "The Number Rock", then sat up and shouted, "Hey ! I was sleeping !"
STOP ME BEFORE I KILL AGAIN !
LoB is a kick-ass teacher, but two actors together in one classroom blithering on for hours about who they know and the roles they've played and who's "just so fabulous" is two too many actors for me. Sparkle Moonbeam is easier to for me to take because she's so obviously angling for attention, but LoB tries to hide his agenda behind his considerable intellect and has become my sworn enemy for ridiculing whatever I say that doesn't jive with his happy ever-after. I guess what I'm really trying to say is I miss AJ, and Sahara feels the same, calling "AJ ! Come back, AJ !" a billion times a day and telling her new teacher "No more LoB- you go home !"
YOU THINK I'M KIDDING, BUT I'M NOT
No joke- the number one cruise destination on Sidestep's website is- wait for it- Phuket. That's right, there's an actual place called Phuket, which also happens to be Richard's favorite swear word this week.
FEELIN' THE LEICHMAN LOVE
Mary Loo Who has a pathological fear of germs, and will not allow anyone to throw their used tissues away in the gym's trashcan. Instead, she tells us to go infect some other teacher's garbage, or to trot outside to the bathroom and waste a few gallons of water flushing one lone Kleenex towards the ocean. Shoe finally snapped under the pressure of escorting 35 kids back and forth to the bathroom in the rain and began plotting her revenge, which she says will eventually consist of coating a gi-normous wad of tissues with a mixture of glue and horseradish, tossing them in the trash, and then sauntering casually past as Mary Loo returns from her (decontamination) break. I'm really going to miss Shoe when she's gone...
GEORGIA ON HER MIND
Shoe wants to move to Georgia and be with her daughter. Shoe's daughter wants Shoe to stay away, but doesn't have the guts to tell her so. This leads to much eye-rolling when Shoe makes her weekly request that everyone tell God how to do his job (pray) so she'll sell her house and be allowed to continue stalking her child (prey), which must really put God on the spot when prayers come in from Georgia requesting the opposite.
During PE class, Shoe oozed over and asked me to pray for her, and was astonished when I politely declined to do so. This was especially amusing to me because I was wearing pentagram earrings and had just made 2 Marilyn Manson references during roll call, but Shoe is the ecumenical sort and any press is good press as far as she's concerned. I briefly toyed with the idea of bartering a prayer for one of her severed fingers, but my satanic duties are mostly ceremonial these days and Francesca would probably steal it from me to pick her nose with. I was suddenly stricken by a rare feeling of kindness and redirected Shoe to Lawdy, then chased Lucifer away from his latest victim while The Irritable Texan screamed at Lawdy and Shoe because they weren't watching the kids.
THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE !
Mistress Sparkle Moonbeam puts a lot of enthusiasm into singing our cutesy morning songs, which goes largely unappreciated by Eureeka, because she stays up all night watching TV. On Monday, Eureeka endured a few minutes of Triple A screeching along with Moonbeam to "The Number Rock", then sat up and shouted, "Hey ! I was sleeping !"
STOP ME BEFORE I KILL AGAIN !
LoB is a kick-ass teacher, but two actors together in one classroom blithering on for hours about who they know and the roles they've played and who's "just so fabulous" is two too many actors for me. Sparkle Moonbeam is easier to for me to take because she's so obviously angling for attention, but LoB tries to hide his agenda behind his considerable intellect and has become my sworn enemy for ridiculing whatever I say that doesn't jive with his happy ever-after. I guess what I'm really trying to say is I miss AJ, and Sahara feels the same, calling "AJ ! Come back, AJ !" a billion times a day and telling her new teacher "No more LoB- you go home !"
YOU THINK I'M KIDDING, BUT I'M NOT
No joke- the number one cruise destination on Sidestep's website is- wait for it- Phuket. That's right, there's an actual place called Phuket, which also happens to be Richard's favorite swear word this week.
FEELIN' THE LEICHMAN LOVE
Mary Loo Who has a pathological fear of germs, and will not allow anyone to throw their used tissues away in the gym's trashcan. Instead, she tells us to go infect some other teacher's garbage, or to trot outside to the bathroom and waste a few gallons of water flushing one lone Kleenex towards the ocean. Shoe finally snapped under the pressure of escorting 35 kids back and forth to the bathroom in the rain and began plotting her revenge, which she says will eventually consist of coating a gi-normous wad of tissues with a mixture of glue and horseradish, tossing them in the trash, and then sauntering casually past as Mary Loo returns from her (decontamination) break. I'm really going to miss Shoe when she's gone...
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 10:19 PM
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