Short, But Definately Not Sweet
DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS, MY ASS
Johnny Depp once said "never take any crap off of anybody", and this week I took his advice to heart when dealing with TIT. Lawdy and I were deeply engrossed in a debate over the latest episode of Dexter, then TIT walked up and abruptly changed the subject to The Evils Of Hillary. He then experienced The Evils Of Me until he realized what a tard he was and apologized. Because everyone else is too tired to argue with him and this deprives him of his greatest joy in life, TIT has developed a weird crush on me and spent the rest of the week trying to impress me with his extensive knowledge of classic rock trivia. I guess it beats getting my pigtails dipped in an inkwell...
LIFE IMITATES ART
Josie often entertains us during 5th period with his uplifting stories of racism and child abuse, the latter dished out regularly by his mother towards his big-mouth sister. Although I too find many of These Kids Today (with their funny hair cuts, loud music, etc.) to be insufferably spoiled little shits, even I was taken aback by his mom's response to her kid coming home four hours late with nary a phone call to her worried family. After punching her daughter in the face several times, throwing her over the sofa, and then beating her with a lamp while Josie's grandma screamed "She's got to learn !" from her perch atop the loveseat, Josie's mom earned the terrified respect of every kid in the projects before she was finally tackled by Josie's dad. Josie usually acts these stories out with impressive sound effects, overstimulating G-Man until he punches Seamus in the face several times, throws an aide across the uppercycle, and beats Julie with the eliptical handle while Scabby screams "Hello, Scabby !" from her perch atop the weight bench and we finally tackle him. Deja vu...
NOTHING FUNNY HERE
I spent the week dreading the arrival of Friday, because the 11th is (was) Grandma's birthday. I lit a few candles around the one picture I have of her, tried not to cry and bum her out (in case she really is lurking about in The Afterlife), and then fled the scene before I was tempted to express an actual feeling or something. That may explain my disinclination to return anyone's phone calls and inability to sleep all week, although it doesn't explain why I'm like that every other week of the year.
GRATUITOUS GOSSIP:
- Claire and Chad are officially engaged.
- Shannon hasn't been killed by any of her students. Yet.
- I finally picked a Democratic hopeful from the lesser of 3 evils, but as Shannon asked- "Do any of them actually stand for anything in particular ?"
- Congrats to Josh, the "Retardid Policeman" of Youtube fame. Josh, who is a favorite of mine because he refuses to let anyone infantilize him, bagged a movie deal and has already shot scenes in two films.
Johnny Depp once said "never take any crap off of anybody", and this week I took his advice to heart when dealing with TIT. Lawdy and I were deeply engrossed in a debate over the latest episode of Dexter, then TIT walked up and abruptly changed the subject to The Evils Of Hillary. He then experienced The Evils Of Me until he realized what a tard he was and apologized. Because everyone else is too tired to argue with him and this deprives him of his greatest joy in life, TIT has developed a weird crush on me and spent the rest of the week trying to impress me with his extensive knowledge of classic rock trivia. I guess it beats getting my pigtails dipped in an inkwell...
LIFE IMITATES ART
Josie often entertains us during 5th period with his uplifting stories of racism and child abuse, the latter dished out regularly by his mother towards his big-mouth sister. Although I too find many of These Kids Today (with their funny hair cuts, loud music, etc.) to be insufferably spoiled little shits, even I was taken aback by his mom's response to her kid coming home four hours late with nary a phone call to her worried family. After punching her daughter in the face several times, throwing her over the sofa, and then beating her with a lamp while Josie's grandma screamed "She's got to learn !" from her perch atop the loveseat, Josie's mom earned the terrified respect of every kid in the projects before she was finally tackled by Josie's dad. Josie usually acts these stories out with impressive sound effects, overstimulating G-Man until he punches Seamus in the face several times, throws an aide across the uppercycle, and beats Julie with the eliptical handle while Scabby screams "Hello, Scabby !" from her perch atop the weight bench and we finally tackle him. Deja vu...
NOTHING FUNNY HERE
I spent the week dreading the arrival of Friday, because the 11th is (was) Grandma's birthday. I lit a few candles around the one picture I have of her, tried not to cry and bum her out (in case she really is lurking about in The Afterlife), and then fled the scene before I was tempted to express an actual feeling or something. That may explain my disinclination to return anyone's phone calls and inability to sleep all week, although it doesn't explain why I'm like that every other week of the year.
GRATUITOUS GOSSIP:
- Claire and Chad are officially engaged.
- Shannon hasn't been killed by any of her students. Yet.
- I finally picked a Democratic hopeful from the lesser of 3 evils, but as Shannon asked- "Do any of them actually stand for anything in particular ?"
- Congrats to Josh, the "Retardid Policeman" of Youtube fame. Josh, who is a favorite of mine because he refuses to let anyone infantilize him, bagged a movie deal and has already shot scenes in two films.
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 9:04 PM
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