It's Halloween Every Day Around Here...
This week's weirdness, all hot 'n' tasty:
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT (NOT)
Halloween rolled on through, leaving in its wake many happy children, several staff members jittery from excessive sugar consumption, and one eyeless emu whacked out on steroids. Good times...
- Big G arrived on Halloween wearing a pirate bandana and a skull-embossed hat, and sported a disturbingly realistic black eye that turned out to be stage make-up and not the result of Jai's karate moves. Setting off this fetching ensemble was a gold hoop earring, giving G the look of a demented Mr. Clean trawling for lost boys in Never-Never Land. AJ snapped a butt-load of photos, but accidently deleted them all because he's a mondo tech-dufus. Note to self: upgrade to camera phone.
- Just like that wacky Michael Meyers, one of Shannon's students attempted to slit her throat, then punched her in the stomach a few times while the principal ignored her calls for help. We're still hiring over here, Shannon...
- While his new aide argued with Josie about getting transferred out of our class, Triple A slithered out of his diaper/pants/belt combo and shuffled outside to sun his privates near two PE classes. The Irritable Texan took a break from bitching about Hillary Clinton long enough to wrangle Triple A back to his classroom, then returned to continue his lecture, entitled "Why We Should Drop An H-bomb On The Entire Middle East And Be Done With It Already". Tanjeer immediately stomped over and elbowed Marv out of the way so she argue with Josie about getting moved from TIT's class, on account of her being from the Middle East and TIT being an asshole.
ALL THE PIECES, BITS AND PIECES
- My laptop was possessed by evil spirits and continually turned itself back on whenever I shut it down, then hung out on the "logging off" screen for 12 hours just because it could. This necessitated a trip to Fry's with Banjo and Shari so I could return it, then another trip to Target so Banjo could ride in the cart and scream "WHERE ARE YOU SPIDERMAN ?!" in his exhausted mother's ear for 20 minutes. Note to self: pick up birth-control pills this week.
- I and everyone I know laughed hysterically when the Computer tech in India suggested my laptop was malfunctioning because it was "full of static", but the last laugh is on us- according to my library book, Laptops For Dummies Like You Who Don't Stand A Chance, static does indeed run rampant inside of laptops as previously stated. Sorry I doubted you, Atul Muhthulkumbuhu.
- After 4 years of stroke-induced silence, my grandmother suddenly started speaking again and demanded to be left alone. I celebrated this turn of events by dying my hair pink, because hey, why not ?
I'll trade you some Jujubes for your Milkduds...
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT (NOT)
Halloween rolled on through, leaving in its wake many happy children, several staff members jittery from excessive sugar consumption, and one eyeless emu whacked out on steroids. Good times...
- Big G arrived on Halloween wearing a pirate bandana and a skull-embossed hat, and sported a disturbingly realistic black eye that turned out to be stage make-up and not the result of Jai's karate moves. Setting off this fetching ensemble was a gold hoop earring, giving G the look of a demented Mr. Clean trawling for lost boys in Never-Never Land. AJ snapped a butt-load of photos, but accidently deleted them all because he's a mondo tech-dufus. Note to self: upgrade to camera phone.
- Just like that wacky Michael Meyers, one of Shannon's students attempted to slit her throat, then punched her in the stomach a few times while the principal ignored her calls for help. We're still hiring over here, Shannon...
- While his new aide argued with Josie about getting transferred out of our class, Triple A slithered out of his diaper/pants/belt combo and shuffled outside to sun his privates near two PE classes. The Irritable Texan took a break from bitching about Hillary Clinton long enough to wrangle Triple A back to his classroom, then returned to continue his lecture, entitled "Why We Should Drop An H-bomb On The Entire Middle East And Be Done With It Already". Tanjeer immediately stomped over and elbowed Marv out of the way so she argue with Josie about getting moved from TIT's class, on account of her being from the Middle East and TIT being an asshole.
ALL THE PIECES, BITS AND PIECES
- My laptop was possessed by evil spirits and continually turned itself back on whenever I shut it down, then hung out on the "logging off" screen for 12 hours just because it could. This necessitated a trip to Fry's with Banjo and Shari so I could return it, then another trip to Target so Banjo could ride in the cart and scream "WHERE ARE YOU SPIDERMAN ?!" in his exhausted mother's ear for 20 minutes. Note to self: pick up birth-control pills this week.
- I and everyone I know laughed hysterically when the Computer tech in India suggested my laptop was malfunctioning because it was "full of static", but the last laugh is on us- according to my library book, Laptops For Dummies Like You Who Don't Stand A Chance, static does indeed run rampant inside of laptops as previously stated. Sorry I doubted you, Atul Muhthulkumbuhu.
- After 4 years of stroke-induced silence, my grandmother suddenly started speaking again and demanded to be left alone. I celebrated this turn of events by dying my hair pink, because hey, why not ?
I'll trade you some Jujubes for your Milkduds...
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 6:54 PM
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