Possible Improvement
Why am I so uncharacteristically optimistic ? Take my quiz and find out...
1. What could possibly make me happy these days ?
a) The appearance of Richard's dad in those boxers that his sac dangles out of
b) My smokin' hot neighbor answering the door in his towel (again)
c) My blog catching the eye of 3 major publishers
d) My bagging a job for $18 an hour, and it doesn't involve a meth lab
Answer: D, as a behaviorist, but since school doesn't start until September I might still be hitting you all up for loans to get August rent paid.
2. Carolyn and I want to start a business providing:
a) Massage with "release", wink wink
b) Clueless guys with better pick-up lines
c) Deoderant to Brain, the nasal scourge of Sunrise
d) Respite care for autistic children, that actually pays employees a living wage
Answer: D- you HELL Group employees wanna pick up some extra scratch ?
3. At the yard sale, my useless junk brought in how much ?
a) $5, and I was damn lucky to get that
b) $10- Banjo's mom felt sorry for me and slid money in my pocket when I wasn't looking
c) $ 29. 75- I stole $15 of it from Carolyn when she went to the bathroom
d) $85 big ones, free and clear
Answer: D, which shocked me and caused me to question the average Californian's taste.
4. Which item did I swipe out of Carolyn's yard sale stuff ?
a) Her autographed glue gun from the creator of Daria
b) Her husband's missing tooth- perhaps she could replace it with the glue gun
c) That art print of two children crossing a bridge as an angel looks on
d) A hideous elephant cane, with suspiciously stereotypical "native" carved on it
Answer- D, not that it looked any worse than my previous cane, which went home with a guy who bent over to check out my hamster ball and couldn't stand up again.
5. What is my latest hobby ?
a) Building an atom bomb in my garage
b) Stalking
c) Avoiding your phone calls
d) Sneaking cuttings off the neighbors' plants
Answer: D- you know I don't have a garage...
6. A certain fellow suddenly stopped replying to my e-mails because...
a) He's checking his glue bottles to see if they're past their freshness date
b) He was abducted by a white slavery ring and is bellydancing somewhere in the Middle East
c) He's innocent of what I accused him of and refuses to work it out, instead acting indignant despite the monumental unbelievability of his story
d) He's guilty as charged and acting indignant because I and 4 of my friends
(and one of his) questioned the monumental unbelievability of his story
Answer- The truth remains to be toyed with...
7. I've been hired by Comforcare to work with my neighbor's kids, who look like:
a) Laurel and Hardy
b) Abbott and Costello
c) Jeckle and Heckle
d) Remus and Romulus
Answer- D, and if you don't know who they are Google it and look for the cherubic paintings that immortalized them forever...
Hope you all are staying hydrated- wilt is SO last year...
Luggage? GPS? Comic
1. What could possibly make me happy these days ?
a) The appearance of Richard's dad in those boxers that his sac dangles out of
b) My smokin' hot neighbor answering the door in his towel (again)
c) My blog catching the eye of 3 major publishers
d) My bagging a job for $18 an hour, and it doesn't involve a meth lab
Answer: D, as a behaviorist, but since school doesn't start until September I might still be hitting you all up for loans to get August rent paid.
2. Carolyn and I want to start a business providing:
a) Massage with "release", wink wink
b) Clueless guys with better pick-up lines
c) Deoderant to Brain, the nasal scourge of Sunrise
d) Respite care for autistic children, that actually pays employees a living wage
Answer: D- you HELL Group employees wanna pick up some extra scratch ?
3. At the yard sale, my useless junk brought in how much ?
a) $5, and I was damn lucky to get that
b) $10- Banjo's mom felt sorry for me and slid money in my pocket when I wasn't looking
c) $ 29. 75- I stole $15 of it from Carolyn when she went to the bathroom
d) $85 big ones, free and clear
Answer: D, which shocked me and caused me to question the average Californian's taste.
4. Which item did I swipe out of Carolyn's yard sale stuff ?
a) Her autographed glue gun from the creator of Daria
b) Her husband's missing tooth- perhaps she could replace it with the glue gun
c) That art print of two children crossing a bridge as an angel looks on
d) A hideous elephant cane, with suspiciously stereotypical "native" carved on it
Answer- D, not that it looked any worse than my previous cane, which went home with a guy who bent over to check out my hamster ball and couldn't stand up again.
5. What is my latest hobby ?
a) Building an atom bomb in my garage
b) Stalking
c) Avoiding your phone calls
d) Sneaking cuttings off the neighbors' plants
Answer: D- you know I don't have a garage...
6. A certain fellow suddenly stopped replying to my e-mails because...
a) He's checking his glue bottles to see if they're past their freshness date
b) He was abducted by a white slavery ring and is bellydancing somewhere in the Middle East
c) He's innocent of what I accused him of and refuses to work it out, instead acting indignant despite the monumental unbelievability of his story
d) He's guilty as charged and acting indignant because I and 4 of my friends
(and one of his) questioned the monumental unbelievability of his story
Answer- The truth remains to be toyed with...
7. I've been hired by Comforcare to work with my neighbor's kids, who look like:
a) Laurel and Hardy
b) Abbott and Costello
c) Jeckle and Heckle
d) Remus and Romulus
Answer- D, and if you don't know who they are Google it and look for the cherubic paintings that immortalized them forever...
Hope you all are staying hydrated- wilt is SO last year...
Luggage? GPS? Comic
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 6:51 PM
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