Getting Down And Dirty
This post is rated PG due to mild sexual content and juvenile toilet humor. Don't say you weren't warned. Maybe there was something in the water this week...
A FRIEND IN KNEED
Minerva developed a very special, very loving realationship with my left knee on Tuesday. She snuck up on me as I hunched over the picnic table screaming at Antony to stop flicking Jello on people. Her response after I pried her off and explained that it was "not appropriate" to masturbate on your teacher's leg ?
"It makes me feel better."
I TIRED TO THROW MY WEIGHT AROUND BUT COULDN'T COMPETE WITH THE PROS
This week: Li Li and I threw down, Travis threw up, Arfer threw hellacious tantrums, everyone threw something over the wall into the alley, Adrien his shoe at Kary, and Antony threw Jello all over Shanana.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEES ?"
"HELL, THEY'RE ALL DISGRUNTLED- I AINT RUNNIN' A DAMN DAISY FARM HERE !"
Not only my favorite line from Raising Arizona, but also Li Li's leadership style. After much ill-intended muttering and rolling of eyes from her underlings, Li Li was stricken by dizzy spells and tingling pain all week (I deny any connection to that voodoo doll she found in her cubby). She was diagnosed Thursday with fibromialgia, and the doctor sent her home on steroids and told her not to work on Friday. Hurray ! Unfortunately, Shanana, The Other Tahanet, and Yomama didn't work on Friday either, but changing 28 diapers by myself 3x a day was worth every moment of back pain I accrued. Viva la steroid !
I HOPE YOU AREN'T READING THIS ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK
Shane's diaper literally blew apart with the force of his bowel movement, causing a renegade gooey pooey to splat down 3 inches from Adrien's nap cot- the end his head happened to be at. His ensuing panic- punctuated by frantic shoe tossing, screams of terror, and two attempts to run outside- kept us laughing for the entire afternoon. Shane told us "That hurt !", and I laughed even more at this bit of poetic justice: Jacky refused to help clean the splatter, which happened on his tour of nap duty, then stepped in some on his way to lunch. Bwahahaha !
FREAKY FRIDAY
Minerva attempted to mount my leg again, Zack whipped it out in front of his mom and Penny, Arfer got excited when I applied a wipe to his nether regions, Penny announced that the boys were "dirty and disgusting" for comparing equipment in the bathroom, and Jacky got pantsed by Santiago. In answer the Eternal Question- Jacky wears briefs, not boxers.
A FRIEND IN KNEED
Minerva developed a very special, very loving realationship with my left knee on Tuesday. She snuck up on me as I hunched over the picnic table screaming at Antony to stop flicking Jello on people. Her response after I pried her off and explained that it was "not appropriate" to masturbate on your teacher's leg ?
"It makes me feel better."
I TIRED TO THROW MY WEIGHT AROUND BUT COULDN'T COMPETE WITH THE PROS
This week: Li Li and I threw down, Travis threw up, Arfer threw hellacious tantrums, everyone threw something over the wall into the alley, Adrien his shoe at Kary, and Antony threw Jello all over Shanana.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEES ?"
"HELL, THEY'RE ALL DISGRUNTLED- I AINT RUNNIN' A DAMN DAISY FARM HERE !"
Not only my favorite line from Raising Arizona, but also Li Li's leadership style. After much ill-intended muttering and rolling of eyes from her underlings, Li Li was stricken by dizzy spells and tingling pain all week (I deny any connection to that voodoo doll she found in her cubby). She was diagnosed Thursday with fibromialgia, and the doctor sent her home on steroids and told her not to work on Friday. Hurray ! Unfortunately, Shanana, The Other Tahanet, and Yomama didn't work on Friday either, but changing 28 diapers by myself 3x a day was worth every moment of back pain I accrued. Viva la steroid !
I HOPE YOU AREN'T READING THIS ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK
Shane's diaper literally blew apart with the force of his bowel movement, causing a renegade gooey pooey to splat down 3 inches from Adrien's nap cot- the end his head happened to be at. His ensuing panic- punctuated by frantic shoe tossing, screams of terror, and two attempts to run outside- kept us laughing for the entire afternoon. Shane told us "That hurt !", and I laughed even more at this bit of poetic justice: Jacky refused to help clean the splatter, which happened on his tour of nap duty, then stepped in some on his way to lunch. Bwahahaha !
FREAKY FRIDAY
Minerva attempted to mount my leg again, Zack whipped it out in front of his mom and Penny, Arfer got excited when I applied a wipe to his nether regions, Penny announced that the boys were "dirty and disgusting" for comparing equipment in the bathroom, and Jacky got pantsed by Santiago. In answer the Eternal Question- Jacky wears briefs, not boxers.
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 6:41 PM
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