The Usual Suspects

Although I only worked 1/2 days all week, I was still on the job long enough to witness the following:

PERHAPS THE WRONG FAMILY MEMBER IS GETTING SMACKED
JD's mother flipped out yesterday because I kept her extremely aggressive ADHD child in time-out during his favorite activity. She called Penny to complain about me for 20 minutes, accuse the other kids of walking up to JC and smacking him for no reason, and demand that he be moved to the Green Group where Rudra, Georgia and T-Bone are always smacking someone for no reason.

Kary informed me that when JD arrived this morning, Adrien walked up and smacked him for a very good reason- JD had tossed Adrien off of the climber the day before. JD's enraged mother stomped off to Penny, who calmly suggested that it would be a good idea for JD to go home early today.

I HEAR IT'S BETTER THAN BOTOX FOR WRINKLES
Somehow, Antony confused the expensive kind of toilet water that smells like J Lo's buttcheeks with real toilet water. Penny and I found him washing his face in the unflushed bowl that Izik had just left a steaming turd in.

STAND UP, STAND UP FOR KRISHNA, YE SOLDIERS OF THE DOT...
All those hours laid up gave me time to peruse some obscure texts. I Imagine my suprise at finding Rudra's name in the chapter on Hindu gods of destruction. Although his namesake is concerned with destroying negativity, Rudra the Younger seems to have narrowed his focus to destroying our playhouse and several of Li Li's geraniums.

I made the mistake of sharing the origins of his name with Penny, and was treated to this philisophical gem: "All of those Indians worship destruction, you know, more than anything else. That's why there's bombs and wars, because of people worshipping gods of destruction." She then proceeded to historically lump Hindus together with Muslim extremists, so as to offend me even more with her poorly reasoned tripe.

I refrained from pointing out that the mother of all bombs was dropped by Americans claiming the Christian God of love and forgiveness was on their side, in a war that included lots of other white folks shooting at/dropping bombs on/generally being destructive towards each other, and I am unaware of Hindu involvement in any World War or conflict not directly pertaining to their area on the map. I also refrained from pointing out that the three children of Hindu parents were resting peacefully on their cots while Adrien (named after a benevolent Irish saint) was busy ripping up my favorite storybook and throwing his shoes at Shane's mom.

SPEAKING OF DESTRUCTIVE URGES...
T-Bone just wasn't feelin' it for Georgia this week, probably due to all the savage kicks she kept aiming at his bony ankle. Going for big drama is T-Bones's style, and he didn't let us down this time. Grabbing Georgia's hair and yanking her head back, he snatched up a Spring Green Crayola and stabbed her repeatedly in the windpipe. This not only earned him an extra-long time-out, it also earned him the respect of his terrified peers and the nickname "Lady Killer" from the staff.

RANDOM MAYHEM:
- Lucius has a "special" (as in "Addict/Porn Star") mommy, who showed up this week in a fetching outfit consisting of see-through fishnet skirt, turquoise panties, and turquoise bra that barely contained her gi-normous implants.
- Graciella re-injured me Tuesday by jumping on me when I was reaching under the climber for her socks, Alexi punched me twice in the back on Thursday, and Rudra decided to drop as I was dragging him off of Travis today. My back now feels worse than the original injury did, but I enjoyed having an excuse to scream senselessly at everyone for the last hour of the day.
- Jacky attempted to write a song while three feet away from him Rudra scratched up Travis and Travis attempted to remove Rudra's right eye.