Disgruntled Employee Of The Month
What happens in gossip rag stays in gossip rag...
SO IT'S TRUE- THIS REALLY IS THE PORTAL TO HELL
Monday morning smelled like Teen Spirit, thanks to an eye-watering sulfuric stench that permeated the halls for a few hours. Around 9:30, someone declared chemical warfare on Scumrise by adding chlorine to the sulfur, which seared the little sacs in our lungs everytime we inhaled. About that rumor that Marilyn Manson stopped by to bottle the smell for his new fragrance line- turns out it was our own Johan Slimeycat dropping Legos into a bottle of window cleaner. You have to admit the resemblence is almost as frightening as that smell was...
JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY
It's always a toss-up as to who's more psycho- the kids or the staff ? Case in point: not content to let Centennia flip out in peace, I proceeded to antagonize her further and then watched her sprint down the hall with several staff members in hot pursuit. Bald managed to cool her off, and I walked aroung feeling guilty... until she manhandled a few other people, attacked Melinda with a colored pencil, and threw her pantyliner at one of Ahole's male students (that would be why the boys have their own bathroom, ya think ?). Proving that very few Geminis actually fit the stereotype of being great communicators, Igor told her group home that she "yelled today."
On Wacky Wednesday, Centennia added more staff members to her body count and treated Bald to a spectacular breakdancing demonstration in the Q.A. On Freaky Friday, she ran backwards down the hall screaming her head off. Someone oughta sell tickets to this place...
BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW EVER
- Zeke found out it doesn't pay to pick on Giode. Zeke's morning greeting for Giode involved throwing woodchips in his face, and then pegging him in the head with a basketball. Several staff members promptly returned fire with every available ball on the playground, causing Zeke to beat it for the climber while yelling "Nonono ! Oh shit !"
- During a game of Keep-Away gone desperately wrong, Johan got too excited and attempted to beat Giode with his own Gatoraid bottle.
- Melinda sneezed out a Cheeto from her sinuses. That may not be an Olympic event, but I think it should be.
AWWW, THAT'S SO SWEET
I can't resist sharing about a tender moment: as Centennia wept loudly for no discernable reason, Shari gathered a handful of napkins and gently wiped the tears from her face.
Then she shoved him.
CIRQUE DE OLAY
Gill tripped on a rug and fell out the door onto the playground, but managed to keep his coffee from spilling by twisting his arm at a freakish angle. The ever-lurking Slimeycat ran up and attempted to snag the java, but was deflected by one of Cholie's demon students who happened to be stimming by at that very moment. Send in the clowns...
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND, BABY, RIGHT ROUND
Aries was swinging along, minding his own business, when Zeke walked in front of his swing, causing Aries to bounce off of him and go into orbit around the wooden support post. After he knocked back and forth for while, he spun in a triple axel for a few more minutes, looking seriously annoyed by the whole experience. Staff members expressed their concern by laughing their asses off.
THE RAYNALDO REPORT
- An LAUSD tour group walking by the Sunshine Room were treated to a view of Raymundo sleeping in one corner while Randall slept in another. After the boys awoke, I spotted Randall throwing spitballs at Raymundo and then at Melinda. Deedle deedle dee.
- While watching Raymundo make love to his PECS book on the QA floor, Bald quipped:
"Him beating off beats me getting beat down." Beats me where he comes up with things like that.
TEACHERS DO IT WITH CLASS (BUT NOT HERE)
- P.J. skipped his meds and acted paranoid- as usual. Then he let Raymundo out of QA too soon, which necessitated 4 people tackling him and carrying him horizontally back to QA. by his thrashing tentacles.
- Igor performed a great miracle in Room 604 this week- he got all of his aides to finally agree on something. We all agreed he's a mega-choad.
- I opened our classroom door to overhear Lanie asking our fearless leader what Jemmy likes to do at home. Igor quite seriously replied, "He likes to look at belly buttons."
- Kennie's teacher pulled her in for a chat with the principal- on Kennie's birthday. Happy birthday, Kennie- speaking of bitchy teachers, Ahole sends her love...
FASHION BUGS
- Six year-old Dana sported a disturbing pair of leopard-skin panties today.
- Yarnell and Centennia arrived this morning wearing the same outfit. Was it due to creepy telepathy, or was there a blow-out sale at Target last weekend ?
- Jo Jo's nosehairs have begun to blend into his mustache stubble.
HERE COME DE HOT STEPPER
- Bifftovo crashed the party at an IEP, refusing to leave because he had to make a copy. Loo Anne finally kicked Biff and his unfortunate dentistry out while Robert snickered.
- Even better: Biff wandered in front of a moving cab on Tuesday and almost got flattened, then took offense when the driver honked at him.
MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR
The following people were spotted mating in captivity this week:
- Klyde bounced on Mark, who played dead until it was over.
- Bruce Lee attempted to pick Elvin's nose, then cornered him against the useless plastic shed for an embrace.
- Johan licked Giode's shirt and attempted to slip Gill some tongue. Gill did not protest.
- Jemmy proved the age-old theory about green M&Ms by yanking up Melinda's shirt 5 minutes after ingesting some.
- Ray showed her love for Charo, OL and S, by sticking her face between his legs.
ASSORTED ODDS AND ENDS:
- Nothing beats watching Cholie wipe her nose on her palm before giving Gill a high-five.
- Cheeser lectured me because I talked during a group activity, then whipped out his cellphone and ignored Elvin as he ripped up data sheets. Eat me, Cheeser.
- Friday was Snot's last day of shirk at The Hell Group. Now that he's gone, who'll take over the job of calling Dan a "worthless fat fuck" and making fun of him when he cries ?
- Loo Anne was absent for 2 days, but nobody even noticed until Friday afternoon.
- Stretch Mark was also absent, which explains why it was so unusually quiet today.
- Mesha grew tired of B.O. Brain hovering over her and told him "Go away, Mr. Dictator."
SO IT'S TRUE- THIS REALLY IS THE PORTAL TO HELL
Monday morning smelled like Teen Spirit, thanks to an eye-watering sulfuric stench that permeated the halls for a few hours. Around 9:30, someone declared chemical warfare on Scumrise by adding chlorine to the sulfur, which seared the little sacs in our lungs everytime we inhaled. About that rumor that Marilyn Manson stopped by to bottle the smell for his new fragrance line- turns out it was our own Johan Slimeycat dropping Legos into a bottle of window cleaner. You have to admit the resemblence is almost as frightening as that smell was...
JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY
It's always a toss-up as to who's more psycho- the kids or the staff ? Case in point: not content to let Centennia flip out in peace, I proceeded to antagonize her further and then watched her sprint down the hall with several staff members in hot pursuit. Bald managed to cool her off, and I walked aroung feeling guilty... until she manhandled a few other people, attacked Melinda with a colored pencil, and threw her pantyliner at one of Ahole's male students (that would be why the boys have their own bathroom, ya think ?). Proving that very few Geminis actually fit the stereotype of being great communicators, Igor told her group home that she "yelled today."
On Wacky Wednesday, Centennia added more staff members to her body count and treated Bald to a spectacular breakdancing demonstration in the Q.A. On Freaky Friday, she ran backwards down the hall screaming her head off. Someone oughta sell tickets to this place...
BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW EVER
- Zeke found out it doesn't pay to pick on Giode. Zeke's morning greeting for Giode involved throwing woodchips in his face, and then pegging him in the head with a basketball. Several staff members promptly returned fire with every available ball on the playground, causing Zeke to beat it for the climber while yelling "Nonono ! Oh shit !"
- During a game of Keep-Away gone desperately wrong, Johan got too excited and attempted to beat Giode with his own Gatoraid bottle.
- Melinda sneezed out a Cheeto from her sinuses. That may not be an Olympic event, but I think it should be.
AWWW, THAT'S SO SWEET
I can't resist sharing about a tender moment: as Centennia wept loudly for no discernable reason, Shari gathered a handful of napkins and gently wiped the tears from her face.
Then she shoved him.
CIRQUE DE OLAY
Gill tripped on a rug and fell out the door onto the playground, but managed to keep his coffee from spilling by twisting his arm at a freakish angle. The ever-lurking Slimeycat ran up and attempted to snag the java, but was deflected by one of Cholie's demon students who happened to be stimming by at that very moment. Send in the clowns...
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND, BABY, RIGHT ROUND
Aries was swinging along, minding his own business, when Zeke walked in front of his swing, causing Aries to bounce off of him and go into orbit around the wooden support post. After he knocked back and forth for while, he spun in a triple axel for a few more minutes, looking seriously annoyed by the whole experience. Staff members expressed their concern by laughing their asses off.
THE RAYNALDO REPORT
- An LAUSD tour group walking by the Sunshine Room were treated to a view of Raymundo sleeping in one corner while Randall slept in another. After the boys awoke, I spotted Randall throwing spitballs at Raymundo and then at Melinda. Deedle deedle dee.
- While watching Raymundo make love to his PECS book on the QA floor, Bald quipped:
"Him beating off beats me getting beat down." Beats me where he comes up with things like that.
TEACHERS DO IT WITH CLASS (BUT NOT HERE)
- P.J. skipped his meds and acted paranoid- as usual. Then he let Raymundo out of QA too soon, which necessitated 4 people tackling him and carrying him horizontally back to QA. by his thrashing tentacles.
- Igor performed a great miracle in Room 604 this week- he got all of his aides to finally agree on something. We all agreed he's a mega-choad.
- I opened our classroom door to overhear Lanie asking our fearless leader what Jemmy likes to do at home. Igor quite seriously replied, "He likes to look at belly buttons."
- Kennie's teacher pulled her in for a chat with the principal- on Kennie's birthday. Happy birthday, Kennie- speaking of bitchy teachers, Ahole sends her love...
FASHION BUGS
- Six year-old Dana sported a disturbing pair of leopard-skin panties today.
- Yarnell and Centennia arrived this morning wearing the same outfit. Was it due to creepy telepathy, or was there a blow-out sale at Target last weekend ?
- Jo Jo's nosehairs have begun to blend into his mustache stubble.
HERE COME DE HOT STEPPER
- Bifftovo crashed the party at an IEP, refusing to leave because he had to make a copy. Loo Anne finally kicked Biff and his unfortunate dentistry out while Robert snickered.
- Even better: Biff wandered in front of a moving cab on Tuesday and almost got flattened, then took offense when the driver honked at him.
MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR
The following people were spotted mating in captivity this week:
- Klyde bounced on Mark, who played dead until it was over.
- Bruce Lee attempted to pick Elvin's nose, then cornered him against the useless plastic shed for an embrace.
- Johan licked Giode's shirt and attempted to slip Gill some tongue. Gill did not protest.
- Jemmy proved the age-old theory about green M&Ms by yanking up Melinda's shirt 5 minutes after ingesting some.
- Ray showed her love for Charo, OL and S, by sticking her face between his legs.
ASSORTED ODDS AND ENDS:
- Nothing beats watching Cholie wipe her nose on her palm before giving Gill a high-five.
- Cheeser lectured me because I talked during a group activity, then whipped out his cellphone and ignored Elvin as he ripped up data sheets. Eat me, Cheeser.
- Friday was Snot's last day of shirk at The Hell Group. Now that he's gone, who'll take over the job of calling Dan a "worthless fat fuck" and making fun of him when he cries ?
- Loo Anne was absent for 2 days, but nobody even noticed until Friday afternoon.
- Stretch Mark was also absent, which explains why it was so unusually quiet today.
- Mesha grew tired of B.O. Brain hovering over her and told him "Go away, Mr. Dictator."
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 5:14 PM
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