Like A K-Tel Record...
Yowza, yowza, yowza ! It's a Super Seventies newsletter, complete with a soundtrack. Remember these great hits ?
SOMEBODY'S KNOCKIN' ON THE DOOR
Namely, Mitchell, bane of Scumrise. After slamming the door so hard it actually broke and took 1/2 hour to be unlocked, Mitchell panicked and banged on it while mean-spirited staff members such as myself snickered. If someone had bothered to ask Gill, that lock would have been picked in no time...
LOVE IS IN THE AIR, EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT
Some fine examples of early spring fever were in evidence this week. If you were fully caffeinated, you may have noticed:
- Redrum squeezing Raymundo's sagging belly as foreplay, then attempting to mount him.
- Centennia pinning me in my chair, then grabbing my hand and placing it on her left breast.
- Crust giving the classroom music 3 thumbs up.
- Mitchell twisting his nipples and trying to entice mortified staff members to help him.
- Aries deep-throating highlighter pens (note to whoever has been stealing our classroom supplies- we keep you especially in mind when we don't wash Aries's hepatic spittle off of the pens).
SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN
The staff of T2 took great delight in finishing Dexie's birthday cake before she could abscond with it. {For those of you new to our school: Dexie never pays for food, yet feels entitled to stuff her purse with potluck items. The storage capacity of her amazing bag has now acheived mythic proportions in the minds of hungry staff members.} Annoyed that the aides were enjoying a moment of actual fun, Alan barfed enormous chunks all over the table and brought an end to the festivities. I guess some guys just can't hold their Crystal Light.
TELL THE TRUTH NOW, UH !
I was amused when Larry opined that Stretch Mark "is kind of strange."
I WISH I WAS AN OSCAR MEYER WIENER
Displacing Jarhead as Employee Most Likely To Be A Serial Killer,
Oliver shocked no one when he announced he was a psych major. Or was that major psycho ? His counseling technique seems to mainly consist of attempts to punch Mitchell back without getting caught, and regularly annoying me with his stunning lack of insight.
Office hours: 9am-3pm, M-F.
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN' LIKE A RIVER
Concerned about rising fuel costs, Zeke opted instead for the shopping cart of a very old man at Trader Joe's. Staff finally gave up on trying to lift him out and pushed him to the park, accidently (I swear) up-ending the cart in the middle of the crosswalk and dumping him unceremoniously into the street.
MORE THAN A FEELING
Many tears were shed today as the tasty Ray Ray departed The Hell group for greener pastures. No word yet as to how Hott our next interventionist will be...
THE RED QUEEN ON THE CHESSBOARD GETS UP AND TELLS YOU WHERE TO GO
This amusing quote of the week is courtesy of Rafa, who observed of the severely botoxed/lifted/peeled Dr. Facelift: "Every time she tries to smile, her ass splits."
It's up to you to decide whether he means from the lack of available skin, or from the massive effort it takes for her to mask her distaste when addressed by lowly employees.
JIVE TALKIN'
I'm not 100% clear on the definition of ironic; does Snot being accused of "fabricating stuff" by Gill qualify ? Probably not ironic but potentially amusing is Gill accusing me of the same, referencing my blog, which he's never actually read but only heard about- from Snot, who fabricates things... you do the math. Isn't it ironic ? Don't ya think ?
OOO, THAT SMELL, WHAT'S THAT SMELL ?
Fortunately for our big bosses, several of whom were in the IEP room when Shari evaded his snoozing 1:1 and burst in, he was somewhat less maloderous than usual today.
LOVIN', TOUCHIN', SQUEEZIN'
Crust gave Lanie a standing ovation when Jemmy yanked her flimsy top up 3 times on the DASH. Getting into the spirit of things, Ariea laughed and smacked Asa on the ass.
No actual breasts were harmed in the making of this news item.
Y'all bring your cake in out of the rain this weekend and have a great time !
SOMEBODY'S KNOCKIN' ON THE DOOR
Namely, Mitchell, bane of Scumrise. After slamming the door so hard it actually broke and took 1/2 hour to be unlocked, Mitchell panicked and banged on it while mean-spirited staff members such as myself snickered. If someone had bothered to ask Gill, that lock would have been picked in no time...
LOVE IS IN THE AIR, EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT
Some fine examples of early spring fever were in evidence this week. If you were fully caffeinated, you may have noticed:
- Redrum squeezing Raymundo's sagging belly as foreplay, then attempting to mount him.
- Centennia pinning me in my chair, then grabbing my hand and placing it on her left breast.
- Crust giving the classroom music 3 thumbs up.
- Mitchell twisting his nipples and trying to entice mortified staff members to help him.
- Aries deep-throating highlighter pens (note to whoever has been stealing our classroom supplies- we keep you especially in mind when we don't wash Aries's hepatic spittle off of the pens).
SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN
The staff of T2 took great delight in finishing Dexie's birthday cake before she could abscond with it. {For those of you new to our school: Dexie never pays for food, yet feels entitled to stuff her purse with potluck items. The storage capacity of her amazing bag has now acheived mythic proportions in the minds of hungry staff members.} Annoyed that the aides were enjoying a moment of actual fun, Alan barfed enormous chunks all over the table and brought an end to the festivities. I guess some guys just can't hold their Crystal Light.
TELL THE TRUTH NOW, UH !
I was amused when Larry opined that Stretch Mark "is kind of strange."
I WISH I WAS AN OSCAR MEYER WIENER
Displacing Jarhead as Employee Most Likely To Be A Serial Killer,
Oliver shocked no one when he announced he was a psych major. Or was that major psycho ? His counseling technique seems to mainly consist of attempts to punch Mitchell back without getting caught, and regularly annoying me with his stunning lack of insight.
Office hours: 9am-3pm, M-F.
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN' LIKE A RIVER
Concerned about rising fuel costs, Zeke opted instead for the shopping cart of a very old man at Trader Joe's. Staff finally gave up on trying to lift him out and pushed him to the park, accidently (I swear) up-ending the cart in the middle of the crosswalk and dumping him unceremoniously into the street.
MORE THAN A FEELING
Many tears were shed today as the tasty Ray Ray departed The Hell group for greener pastures. No word yet as to how Hott our next interventionist will be...
THE RED QUEEN ON THE CHESSBOARD GETS UP AND TELLS YOU WHERE TO GO
This amusing quote of the week is courtesy of Rafa, who observed of the severely botoxed/lifted/peeled Dr. Facelift: "Every time she tries to smile, her ass splits."
It's up to you to decide whether he means from the lack of available skin, or from the massive effort it takes for her to mask her distaste when addressed by lowly employees.
JIVE TALKIN'
I'm not 100% clear on the definition of ironic; does Snot being accused of "fabricating stuff" by Gill qualify ? Probably not ironic but potentially amusing is Gill accusing me of the same, referencing my blog, which he's never actually read but only heard about- from Snot, who fabricates things... you do the math. Isn't it ironic ? Don't ya think ?
OOO, THAT SMELL, WHAT'S THAT SMELL ?
Fortunately for our big bosses, several of whom were in the IEP room when Shari evaded his snoozing 1:1 and burst in, he was somewhat less maloderous than usual today.
LOVIN', TOUCHIN', SQUEEZIN'
Crust gave Lanie a standing ovation when Jemmy yanked her flimsy top up 3 times on the DASH. Getting into the spirit of things, Ariea laughed and smacked Asa on the ass.
No actual breasts were harmed in the making of this news item.
Y'all bring your cake in out of the rain this weekend and have a great time !
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 6:32 PM
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