A Day In The Life
Another week that proved it's all good from the front to the back...
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PASTIE ? IT WAS RIGHT HERE A MOMENT AGO...
Noone can figure out why on Wednesday Jeremy ran down the hall and yanked Stretch Mark's shirt up, blinding Bald with the reflection off of her stretchmarks and frightening Giode off of women for a few more years. Just proves my theory that some guys will settle for anything.
THE SPY AMONG US...
Ill-founded accusation of the week: Igor accused Bald of spying for Loo Anne and telling her every move we all make. I dismissed his lame-ass theory by reminding him that we were both still employed.
WHY BALD SPIES ON IGOR (TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION):
Today's CBI was blog-tacular, filled with drama, bloodshed, and milkshakes (which were better than yours). Read on, if you dare... Bwahahaha !
1. The DASH was too full, passing up Stretch Mark and her class. I made a point to wave as we passed them up at a corner in Van Nuys. I'm sorry to say that, despite Lidia's repeated attempts to push Stretch Mark in front of the DASH, she and her whine are still among the living.
2. Elvin spotted the only unplugged cord in the entire Fashion Square and flipped it. Unfortunately, he was accused by Lanie of wanting to demolish the payphones, so 3 over-zelous staff members tackled him and a melee ensued. Feeling left out, IGOR LET GO OF ZEKE WITHOUT ARRANGING SUPERVISION and jumped into the fray. Seeing his chance, Zeke decided to ditch all those other losers and catch an early bus back to school. He serenely sat on the DASH bench while frantic staff ran through the mall for 20 minutes looking for him. Special high-five to Charo, Our Lord and Savior, for claiming Zeke couldn't possibly be outside the mall ('Dude, I'd have seen him pass me"). An additional high-five goes to Igor the Terrible for accusing his aides of losing Zeke, even though we were all busy either tackling Elvin, dragging other kids out of the way of Elvin, or trying not to be trampled ourselves by an enraged, gi-normous Elvin.
3. Not to be outdone by mere amateurs, Rai used her down-time at the bus stop to punch herself in the face, splitting her own lip open. Then she shreiked at some snickering Drawbridge students for 10 minutes until one almost fell off of the stairs laughing. Igor again LEFT ZEKE WITHOUT ARRANGING SUPERVISION so he could irritate Rai by refusing to let her move away from the bench to calm herself. Igor then criticized Asa for not moving Rai away from the bench so she could calm herself. Unfortunately for Zeke, I spotted him hiding behind Centennia and fried him with my Laser Death Stare until the bus came...
4. ...and then I proceeded to annoy the DASH driver by leaning my flabby ass for
10 minutes on that button wheelchair riders press to request their stop. Charo finally figured out what was going on and asked me to move before someone decided to open fire on me. Meanwhile, Aries made out with a protesting Jo Jo, Crust screamed "Are you OK ? Ninganinganinganinganing !", and Igor begged us all to avoid Loo Anne until he could speak to her himself and "give her the official version before she hears all the tall tales." Indeed.
RANDALL KOWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY
What I find mysterious is his ability to remain employed. What Rafa found mysterious was Randall's claim that he has no accent. "If you cover your eyes, you would swear I was a white person speaking to you." After wiping tears of laughter from our eyes, Rafa and I harrassed Randall for 30 minutes about his barely perceptible accent.
Hope your weekend is as much fun for you as today was for me !
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PASTIE ? IT WAS RIGHT HERE A MOMENT AGO...
Noone can figure out why on Wednesday Jeremy ran down the hall and yanked Stretch Mark's shirt up, blinding Bald with the reflection off of her stretchmarks and frightening Giode off of women for a few more years. Just proves my theory that some guys will settle for anything.
THE SPY AMONG US...
Ill-founded accusation of the week: Igor accused Bald of spying for Loo Anne and telling her every move we all make. I dismissed his lame-ass theory by reminding him that we were both still employed.
WHY BALD SPIES ON IGOR (TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION):
Today's CBI was blog-tacular, filled with drama, bloodshed, and milkshakes (which were better than yours). Read on, if you dare... Bwahahaha !
1. The DASH was too full, passing up Stretch Mark and her class. I made a point to wave as we passed them up at a corner in Van Nuys. I'm sorry to say that, despite Lidia's repeated attempts to push Stretch Mark in front of the DASH, she and her whine are still among the living.
2. Elvin spotted the only unplugged cord in the entire Fashion Square and flipped it. Unfortunately, he was accused by Lanie of wanting to demolish the payphones, so 3 over-zelous staff members tackled him and a melee ensued. Feeling left out, IGOR LET GO OF ZEKE WITHOUT ARRANGING SUPERVISION and jumped into the fray. Seeing his chance, Zeke decided to ditch all those other losers and catch an early bus back to school. He serenely sat on the DASH bench while frantic staff ran through the mall for 20 minutes looking for him. Special high-five to Charo, Our Lord and Savior, for claiming Zeke couldn't possibly be outside the mall ('Dude, I'd have seen him pass me"). An additional high-five goes to Igor the Terrible for accusing his aides of losing Zeke, even though we were all busy either tackling Elvin, dragging other kids out of the way of Elvin, or trying not to be trampled ourselves by an enraged, gi-normous Elvin.
3. Not to be outdone by mere amateurs, Rai used her down-time at the bus stop to punch herself in the face, splitting her own lip open. Then she shreiked at some snickering Drawbridge students for 10 minutes until one almost fell off of the stairs laughing. Igor again LEFT ZEKE WITHOUT ARRANGING SUPERVISION so he could irritate Rai by refusing to let her move away from the bench to calm herself. Igor then criticized Asa for not moving Rai away from the bench so she could calm herself. Unfortunately for Zeke, I spotted him hiding behind Centennia and fried him with my Laser Death Stare until the bus came...
4. ...and then I proceeded to annoy the DASH driver by leaning my flabby ass for
10 minutes on that button wheelchair riders press to request their stop. Charo finally figured out what was going on and asked me to move before someone decided to open fire on me. Meanwhile, Aries made out with a protesting Jo Jo, Crust screamed "Are you OK ? Ninganinganinganinganing !", and Igor begged us all to avoid Loo Anne until he could speak to her himself and "give her the official version before she hears all the tall tales." Indeed.
RANDALL KOWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY
What I find mysterious is his ability to remain employed. What Rafa found mysterious was Randall's claim that he has no accent. "If you cover your eyes, you would swear I was a white person speaking to you." After wiping tears of laughter from our eyes, Rafa and I harrassed Randall for 30 minutes about his barely perceptible accent.
Hope your weekend is as much fun for you as today was for me !
posted by Fredrika Krueger at 6:08 PM
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