She Laughed, She Cried, She Hurled

If you missed any of this today, consider yourself deprived. Oh, and don't eat while you're reading this...

Just The Facts, Ma'am...
1. Patty flipped it in the donut shop and slapped around 1 staff member, two mechanics, and 1 cop. The cop insisted that he will press charges because he was assaulted. I'm with Patty- I think their donuts suck, too.

2. Jermmy took advantage of the donut shop chaos and sat down in the parking lot to
eat his shoe.

3. Amy spewed undigested eggs Exorcist-style all over the classroom during lunch. Her mother denied that she was ill.

4. Patty got naked in QA. Why should Todd have all the fun ?

5. Brain demonstrated his problem-solving skills and ability to think outside the box by leaving an Unidentified Floating Object in the urinal. Why ? Because Crust was hogging the stall again so he could jack off, that's why.

6. Alan attempted to make out with Dan, who still has no weiner.

7. Snot was reprimanded for using a loud voice and hurting Yarnell's delicate feelings. As usual, no effective alternative was provided, and Yarnell spent most of the day attacking any staff member who tried to positively reinforce him.

8. Loo Anne made an ass of herself by trying to make her public (in front of all of his coworkers) reprimand of Snot sound "positive". Be on the lookout for Loo Anne's other face, which Yarnell probably ripped off and buried in the woodchips next to his shoe and Alan.

You couldn't make this stuff up...